It was a Wednesday morning, and my husband was at the hospital for a routine procedure. Even "routine" procedures can cause unease. It’s anesthesia, it’s a hospital, and it’s your spouse.
That morning, with our kiddo and everything else happening, he had Ubered to the hospital. A few hours later, I received the message saying he was done and ready to go home. I jumped in the car and headed to the hospital around 11 a.m., my mind spinning. I was relieved he was through the procedure, wondering how recovery would go, and completely lost in thought.
I stopped at an intersection I know well. It’s where my OB’s office is. It’s where I delivered my baby. I’ve sat at that light hundreds of times.
As I sat there distracted, the left-turn arrow turned green. Two cars in front of me went, but I didn’t. It’s a short light, and by the time I realized it, it was already red.
I glanced in my rearview mirror, ready to wave an apology. Before I could even lift my hand, the driver behind me flipped me off.
And while he wasn’t wrong to feel irritated, the finger felt like a lot. My immediate thought was, You have no idea where my head is right now. Maybe a little compassion wouldn’t hurt.
I felt anger rise and a strong urge to put him in his place. I put my car in park and reached for the door handle, ready to storm back to his car.
Then I heard my husband’s voice in my head:
“Jamie, don’t you dare get out of your car and storm up to this man's car!”
Even though he wasn’t there, he was right.
Instead, I took a deep breath. I rolled down my window and waved to get the man’s attention. At first, he pretended not to see me. I called out again and made the universal “roll-down-your-window” gesture.
Eventually, he rolled his window down and leaned out.
In a calm, assertive voice, I said,
“I’m on my way to pick up my husband who just had surgery. I’m overwhelmed and distracted. I apologize for inconveniencing you.”
I paused and maintained eye contact.
His expression softened instantly. He smiled and said,
“Oh, okay. It’s okay.”
He gave me a small wave.
And that was it. The light turned green, and we both drove away. The conflict dissolved into compassion.
That moment reminded me of something powerful:
We truly never know what someone else is going through.
Everyone is carrying something.
The Leadership Lesson: Leading from Any Seat
Moments like these, seemingly ordinary, are quietly profound. They remind us that leadership is less about authority and more about awareness.
Every team member, colleague, and client carries unseen experiences. Leadership begins when we acknowledge that reality—even when we don’t know the details.
Pause and Assume Good Intent
When someone seems off—slow to respond, irritated, or disengaged—pause before judging. Curiosity is often the doorway to empathy.
Model Vulnerability
Authentic leadership requires humanity. When leaders acknowledge challenges, they create space for others to do the same.
Respond, Don’t React
Calm responses set the emotional tone for teams. A measured response can de-escalate tension quickly.
Encourage Empathy
Create space for storytelling, open dialogue, and reflection. These moments build deeper trust.
Provide Space for Grace
Life happens. Offering flexibility—both practical and emotional—allows people to recover from difficult moments without shame.
Leadership isn’t performed from a distance. It shows up in everyday moments when patience and perspective are tested.
The next time frustration rises, ask yourself:
What might I not be seeing right now?
Grace begins there. And from grace grows trust, humanity, and leadership that uplifts everyone it touches.
How about you? When have you witnessed compassion when someone needed it most?
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