Stop Faking It. (Do This Instead)

There’s a phrase most of us have heard at some point in our careers: “Fake it ’til you make it.”

On the surface, it sounds empowering. It suggests confidence, courage, and the willingness to step into opportunities before you feel fully ready.

But recently, while coaching a high-achieving professional, I shared why this advice can quietly undermine your empowered mindset.

Let’s call her Samantha.

Samantha is doing incredible things in her career. She’s being invited into rooms with industry heavy hitters and managing high-profile projects. She’s trusted, capable, and respected by her peers and leadership.

And yet, she shared something that many professionals can relate to:

“I find myself apologizing in a lot of conversations. I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong and it’ll backfire on me.”

If you’ve ever softened your ideas before sharing them, hesitated to speak up, or questioned whether you truly belong in certain spaces, you’re not alone.

The Problem with “Faking It”

When we tell ourselves to “fake it,” we may unintentionally reinforce a deeper belief that we’re imposters. That we don’t actually deserve to be where we are. That we’re only one mistake away from being exposed.

That false belief chips away at confidence, voice, and leadership presence.

So instead of reinforcing that narrative, I offered Samantha a new mantra:

“I’m here to rehearse until it’s verse.”

Think about learning a song.

At first, you don’t know the lyrics. You practice. You stumble. You forget words. You start over. You refine.

Eventually, though, something shifts. The lyrics become second nature. They become verse. They become part of you.

Professional growth works the same way.

You don’t walk into new opportunities fully polished or certain. You walk in willing to learn, stretch, and grow.

Reframing Imposter Feelings

The next time self-doubt creeps in, try reframing your internal dialogue:

• You aren’t pretending to belong.
• You aren’t misleading anyone about your capabilities.
• You are learning, growing, and expanding your leadership.

There’s nothing fake or fraudulent about you. You are growth in motion! 

The Leadership Takeaway

Stop apologizing for being in the room.

Stop shrinking your voice before it’s heard.

Stop believing you must be perfect before you are worthy.

You aren’t faking your competence.

You’re rehearsing your growth.

And with time, practice, and persistence, what feels unfamiliar today will become something you carry with clarity, confidence, and ownership.

Keep showing up. Keep practicing. Keep stepping forward.

You belong in the room. Now, own it!